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My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

I have recently chose to deal with all of my friends divorcing their significant others. I say chose because I did choose to be there for my friends. Have you sat there while others where going through something and realized your own beliefs and morals you have are so different? Well I did. Let me just tell you I sat there while seeing how sneaky and manipulative people can be. Yes I spoke up and said something to my friends but then again that’s my opinion and especially in that moment they could care less what anyone else had to say. There mind is set and they are doing what they want to do. Do I stay and support them? How far am I willing to go with a friendship? I have started to distance myself from so many people I have been friends with. One of my friends we have been friends since we were five. I am by far an expert on marriage lets just get that out there. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 3. My husband always jokes around and says he put to much into this marriage why would he start over hahah.

I am a people pleaser and have always been. Until I met someone, she came into my life I don’t know why but it was the greatest gift ever. She is slowly teaching me its okay to love myself, to have my own thoughts, to show my worth and not be taken advantage of.

#strength #Serenity #love #miracles

THE EXTRA MONEY

Now we all have that extra money just laying around for all those unexpected expenses right. NOT ME! Let me just tell you I started the Dave Ramsey program this month. I had to do something and I have nothing to lose I figured. I am that basic American that lives paycheck to paycheck and I don’t want to be that anymore. I feel like money is the root of all evil. There is never enough and someone is always asking for it.

Now just this month I have had 300 dollars go out just in sports, pictures and activities for my kids and I only have two kids. I look back and wonder how my parents did it with four of us kids. Then I have three different fundraisers in my planner right now that my kids are doing. Now to me these fundraiser have gotten out of control. I swear there is a new one for school every other month and my kids are in public school. Then each sport has at least one fundraiser they do. Not only are there so many but I feel it is unnecessary things. Like the candy, coffee, food, candles etc. What happened to car washes, bake sales, or something that shows effort instead of just asking for money? Maybe I am not understanding it from the program leaders, but there has to be another way. What can be done, what can change, what can I do different? I am going to come up with ideas and really want to hear yours. A change starts with one person!

I had a coworker come to work the other day in tears because her daughter got a fundraiser from school that said post on Facebook to get your five donations quick. This lady doesn’t have Facebook and her daughter came home crying saying she wasn’t going to be able to do this because her mom didn’t have Facebook. I know that it wasn’t saying you can only use Facebook but to a child, that is what they hear. How is that even okay? I struggle with this so much. How much do parents usually spend on kids activities monthly and are you like me and don’t say no to sports knowing they are going to benefit our kids in more ways than one?

#MONEY #FUNDRAISERS #SCHOOL #ACTIVITIES

Perfection

Quick short post to put out there to all that will end up reading my blog. My writing is so rusty and my thoughts are all over the place. I am going to get there though or maybe I won’t but who wants perfection anyways? This is my life, my story and my time! I am far from perfect!!

Chaos

Well the flu/bug has officially hit my house. I was down for the count for two days. That is a long time in mom days, I swear! Nothing is a worse feeling to me than not being able to mother my children and that is exactly how I felt when I was the one with the bug. I just sat there throwing up wishing I had my mother there to take care of me and help me with my kids. The comfort of a mom. I am one of very few who was able to grow up with a mother like that and still have that. The only thing is she moved thousands of miles away to live in a warmer place and left me haha. I tend to not let her forget she just left us here and should probably come back for my own selfish needs lol. As a wife and mother I learned and always wanted to be the caretaker and think I am pretty great at it, until it comes to taking care of myself. Who has time for that honestly? Seriously those of you that have it figured out, on how to take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and balance it all please, please let me know. I just can’t figure it out. Back to the chaos though I started this week out like I got this, this is my week! My son had the flu, the dog threw up on my daughter’s bed, and my husband was throwing up. I gave in and went to the laundry mat. I needed all the laundry and bedding done before I went back to work. Well I accomplished it then what happens? I started throwing up. I was sent home for work and laying on the couch throwing up with my husband sleeping upstairs because he is working graveyards and my 5 year old being as needy as can be and just totally ignored that I was throwing up right in front of him. He wanted sausage and eggs for breakfast not something he could make on his own. Duh mom!!! I do have to say though my husband got up early before work came and made the kids dinner tucked me into bed and made sure I had everything I needed. Now those are the things that matter in life. I sat there and cried while throwing up saying “I can’t parent right now. What am I going to do?” He laughed at me like always and was like serious this is your biggest problem right now? He said look at your kids they are just fine. Guess what they were. Both of my kids were perfect. My daughter was beyond amazing and trying to take care of me and my son finally calmed down and laid next to me while I slept. I learned so much from this week that felt like complete chaos. I am surrounded by loved ones that are there to help me. That I don’t have to do everything on my own. Most of all that I am not perfect. I already knew that one, but I believe I still strive for that excellence every day. I don’t want to fail at parenting. I don’t want to fail at being a wife or marriage. Most of all I don’t want to fail being who I am! (which we are still uncertain about) haha maybe through this journey not only will I find out the real me but so will everyone else! #chaos #momminit #perfect #imperfect #life

Saving Myself

Where to start. Lately I feel like I am in finally moving in the right direction then bam back even further. I have already saved myself in so many ways. Addiction, abusive relationship, homeless, broken back and so much more. I now have a beautiful home, amazing husband and kids and killing daily life with this back of mine with no medication due to being in recovery. I would say I am doing alright. I do feel lost lately though and don’t understand.

I would have to say relationships are hard. Not just marriage or being with someone but friendship as well. My friends have disappointed me lately. I know most moms don’t have friends but I honestly have had a different few groups of friend in the last 4 years that were so amazing for a while. What happens when we have to distance ourself from them? I know I will not always agree with everyone but my parents raised me old school. If your married you don’t cheat, you don’t be sneaky and you will fight with you spouse but that is life. Then there is having kids. I was raised with parents that always made life about my sibilings and I. They worked their a**es off to make sure we always had nice things, were able to play sports and knew that they loved us and were always there for us. When I see these friends of mine not being loyal I speak my opinion but they are going to do what they want right? I can live with that. Then there is not taking care of their kids. Now as I said earlier I strive to be a better mom every day and yes I fail some days but I will never give up and making sure my kids know they are taken care of. People get divorced it is life but that does not give anyone the right to stop being a parent. I have watched so many people lately decide they became a parent far too young and now going to live their life. How is that fair? Your child didn’t ask to be here, you choose to bring them in to this world.

My marriage struggles sometimes because of my friends and who they are. I have one friend right now who has the same beliefs as me in marriage and being a mother. We laughed as we talked about it the other day because we said we must be the screwed up ones haha. Why don’t we want someone else to raise our kids? Why don’t we want to go party every night and be sneaky and manipulative with other men? I am a very honest and open person when it comes to my marriage. Is every argument my husband and I have on social media? NO! I believe in privacy when it comes to that but I am here to share that not everything is supposed to be perfect and no show of perfection needs to be put on social media for anyone in my opinion.

Out of all of this chaos of relationships I have decided to find a hobby. Find something for me. I realize I don’t have to be angry at anyone. Their decisions are not mine. I can’t set expectations for anyone but me. I can choose to focus on me though and my family and realize what I don’t want. I want my kids to never seek attention from anyone but know where they have it from the people in their life.

Stay tuned for this awesome hobby I am going to find for myself and what is going to be next in my crazy, chaotic life I live. Let me all hear about your relationships and how you do it.

ABOUT STILL MARRIED

I am a basic wife, mother of two amazing children, and a strong working independent woman. Most people will be questioning me now on how I am a wife but independent as well. I will get to that later on. This is who I am!

This blog is so much more than my life and what I have experience or what I will experience on the daily. I have wanted to start a blog for many years and couldn’t come up with what to say or how to say it. Today I realized there is so much to say and share with everyone. Many people like myself need someone to relate to and know we aren’t the only ones going through this crazy thing we call life.

This blog is called still married because it is so normal to see single mother, or single father doing it on their own. How many times do we make it a big deal to see a married couple killing it in the world? Marriage is hard work. It is not easy that is why divorce rate is so high. It is so simply to be done instead of working on it.

I grew up in a small town with one brother and two sisters. Two parents still to this day have the strongest love for each other I have ever seen. This doesn’t mean there wasn’t battles, fights, police, and moves while growing up. They just always stuck it out and are here today. My mother had a previous marriage that was very toxic and dangerous. So to make myself clear not every marriage is worth fighting for, but mine is. Is yours?

#family #marriage #decisions #obstacles #zerotohero